No Control
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Chris thinks long and hard about Alicia [insert other euphemisms here]. No spoilers for anything. I haven't seen 1x05 yet and it's set any time, in any situation, in any house. This is a strong T for masturbation.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _I knew I'd be shipping these two from the moment he pulled her down and grappled with her in 1x03. So much teen angst from Chris after that scene. It also has some of the main components of a good romance to me: only slightly taboo, complex love/hate issues, and a slightly younger male, that the older female can corrupt._

 _Will they make it into a reality? I think they don't have the balls to. Gay couples are okay on TV now but non-related step-siblings seem to toe the line. It's really bizarre. But who knows, Alicia may not even survive that long into another season. It wouldn't be the first time TWD has killed a ship before it's even had a hope (and yes, I am talking about the Bethyl tease here)._  
 _ **  
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 **Summary:** _Chris thinks long and hard about Alicia [insert other euphemisms here]. No spoilers for anything. I haven't seen 1x05 yet and it's set any time, in any situation, in any house. This is a strong T for masturbation. **  
**_

* * *

 **No Control**

* * *

It wasn't the first time she'd made him like this.

In the whole dick of a situation with his dad and Madison, Alicia was the one bright spot. And then she wasn't the bright spot because she frustrated the hell out of him. She was a bitch like her mother, but couldn't deny the second glace he gave her from the moment they met. And the subsequent glances after that. He'd look at her, look away as quickly as possible and then turn his frustration to his father and storm away from their little happy new family.

He was angry enough without having these other feelings come into the mix. He hated the way she made him feel. He hated that the daughter of his dad's bitch fling made him actually give a damn about the Clark family - or at least one of them.

But he supposed deep down he didn't want any of his step family hurt. He didn't even hate Madison, he guessed. Especially after everything everything went down, it seemed petty to keep around such blind rage for things that weren't going to matter anymore.

The world was spiraling out of control. People weren't even people anymore. Who could say who they could trust? But it seemed that they could trust each other. Or at least he would reluctantly trust Alicia because he couldn't help himself. He wanted to trust her. He wanted her.

Chris slammed his open palm against the wall and closed his eyes, his hand groping himself down his pants.

"Chris?"

Chris groaned upon hearing his father's voice on the other side. This wasn't a good time. Being about to jack off to images of your step sister was never a good time for family interruptions.

"What?"

"Can I come in?"

Hell no. Chris thought he wasn't going to be that blunt about it, he forced a more pleasant reaction. "Not right now dad."

"We're getting ready to pack up from here. Meet downstairs soon, okay?"

"Yeah."

He had to do it. Even if he felt guilty about it. Even if he would die on the spot if anyone found out he was doing it while thinking of her. Even if the whole prospect of having to imagine his step sister while doing this made him angry all over again at having no control over anything. No control over the situation. No control over his emotions. No control over how screwed up the world was getting. No control over his own thoughts it appeared.

When he was finished and getting ready to go he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He caught his own eye with a shameful look that he tried to shrug off. It wasn't his fault he had to do it. He wasn't in control of anything anymore.

It was her fault. His dad's fault. Anyone's fault.

And it shouldn't even matter because they had bigger things to worry about now.

* * *

 _Angst. I don't know if I'll continue this or not._ **  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTICE**

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I will most likely delete this account so I wanted to tell my story first.

I was an atheist until my early 20s. I tried to prove there was no God, and the weight of the arguments for God (apologetics) convinced me otherwise.

I'm posting this up because fanfiction really is a 'secret life' that I don't want to have secret.

Fanfiction should never take priority over God or cause you to lie. For me, it caused me to have this secret side of me.

Life is short. Super short. Do you want to be living a lie? Or do you want your writing to glorify something other than God?

* * *

 _ **TLDR** ; If you're a Christian, don't let stuff on the internet rule over you. Seek God to make sure you're not. If you're an atheist, apologetics is really convincing stuff. Look up people like John Lennox, William Lane Craig, Frank Turek, Norman Geisler and many others on youtube._

* * *

God is Holy. Are you?


End file.
